Timor
by LovelyLovelyLove
Summary: Cards are cast, pairs are formed. Lucy finds herself with someone she least expected. Off to a mysterious mountain of screams, the unlikely pair encounter things only found in their worst nightmares. Will they ever find a way out? Or will the mountain claim them, too? Welcome to Mt. Timor.
1. Chapter 1

The hot June heat scorched her skin as she glared at the pink haired idiot she called a partner. She knew he felt it, by the stiff way he walked in front of her. She knew that he knew why.

Lucy and Natsu were on their way back to the guild after a job. It was supposed to be easy and fun. She had picked it out herself. All they had to do, was show up to some teenager's sweet sixteen and put on a little show. The blonde was so excited to do a job that didn't involve fighting to the death. She was excited for a job she thought entailed no extensive damage or docked rewards.

She had been wrong.

Oh so wrong.

The birthday boy, as they learned upon arrival, was a Fire mage, and once he saw Natsu he got excited. And Natsu being Natsu, was all too eager to show off.

Resulting in half of the hall the family had been renting to burn to the ground.

And no reward.

So now Lucy had to dip into her savings to pay for rent, that was due tomorrow, and forgo grocery shopping. Which she really needed to do because _someone_ had cleaned out her fridge.

The more she thought, the more her glare intensified, rivaling the summer heat.

Natsu quickened his stiff pace. Happy was already a dot in the distance.

Smart cat.

By the time they reached the guild she was sweating buckets. It was so hot she could barely stand what she was wearing, and it wasn't much. Just a hot pink bikini top, a white mini skirt, and black flip flops. Her hair was up in a high pony tail, up and off her neck. She just wished that there could be some semblance of a breeze.

Upon entering the guild, they received many odd looks. For one, Natsu didn't announce their return with his usual obnoxious 'we made it back alive!'

Secondly, he just stiffly walked to a table and sat down, not looking at Lucy in hopes that she will forget he was there. Lucy Kicks hurt.

A wave of sudden understanding washed over the guild when they caught sight of the expression on Lucy's face as she made her way to the bar.

"Mira. Something strong, please."

A sympathetic look and a small smile later, a cool glass of amber liquid was placed in front of her.

She downed it in one go.

"That bad?" The silver-haired barmaid asked.

Lucy made a small frustrated noise in the back of her throat and pushed the glass towards the older woman to signal for another.

Once her glass was refilled, she downed it the same as the first.

"How much did you guys lose?" Mira asked, pity lacing her tone.

The blonde sighed and buried her face in her hands.

"All of it."

Mira gasped. "Oh dear. Will you have enough for rent tomorrow?"

"Barely." Her voice was muffled by her hands, but Mira still heard her.

There was a pause. "And food?"

Lucy slumped, her face pressing against the cool bar, grateful for the miniscule relief from the heat.

Mira reached out and rested her hand on the younger mage's shoulder. "Well until you have enough for groceries, we can just open a tab for you, ok?"

Lucy tensed. "No, Mira. I can't let you do that for me again."

The silver-haired beauty giggled and waved off her concern. "Nonsense, Lucy. Of course you can. I can't just sit here knowing you're hungry."

She slumped a bit further in resignation. "I'll pay you back right away. I promise."

Sitting up and giving her a small thankful smile, she instantly regretted making eye contact after seeing the gleam in her bright blue eyes.

Uh oh.

"I'm sure that will be sooner than you think. The master and I have come up with something really special, so make sure you're here tomorrow at one, ok?"

"Okay." She squeaked, repressing the shudder that came from remembering the last time Mira and the master had schemed together.

They had drawn names out of a hat to be partnered up with another mage. The pairs were obviously couples that Mira wanted to get together. She had been paired up with Natsu, of course. The objective was to complete an obstacle course. The catch? A spell the master had cast, essentially sticking each pair together like glue. Lucy's had had been stuck to Natsu's bicep, and he'd dragged her through the obstacle course without stopping for anything. In the end, they'd come out second. She was singed, winded, and more than a little agitated with her best friend. And then Makarov _conveniently_ forgot the reversal spell.

It was the worst week of her life.

"So, what would you like for supper?" Mira asked with a too innocent smile.

And as she ordered a simple dish of pasta, call it a premonition, Lucy just knew that her life was about to get a whole hell of a lot more complicated.

}{}{}{

The next morning, Lucy woke up alone in her bed for the first time in weeks.

She automatically felt like the day wouldn't be as terrible as she thought it would the night before.

Later that day, she wanted to sucker punch herself in the face for being so stupid.

So the oblivious blonde hopped in the shower and dressed in a simple turquoise tank top, charcoal gray mini skirt, and her trusty black flip flops. She fastened her belt with her keys and whip around her hips, threw her hair up into a high pony tail, and skipped to the guild.

It was still blistering hot, but the sky was covered in gunmetal gray clouds that blocked the sun's scorching rays, and looked like a storm could drench everything at any second. It was also windy. So windy that her pony tail kept whipping her in the face, and she had to keep her arms pinned to her sides to keep her skirt from flying up and flashing all of magnolia her lacey purple panties.

Finally arriving at the guild, she released her hold over her skirt and ordered lunch. A sandwich and a salad, with a strawberry milkshake, and then planted her butt on a stool to wait for the announcement of today's 'something special.'

Lucy got her wish when minutes after she was done eating the master, Mira, and Cana stood on the stage.

Excited and nervous chattering died away as Makarov cleared his throat in the floating microphone.

"Good afternoon, children. I have something exciting planned for you all today. Mira, why don't you explain?" He stepped beside Cana, gesturing the Satan Soul mage to the microphone.

"Alright," She chirped with a bright smile. The crowd gulped. "Today we will be pairing up. Each pair will be given a mission request and will be expected to complete it successfully. Now, pairs will not be chosen at random. It will be left up to fate. Cana?"

The brunette emptied her mug of who knows what, tossed it in the general direction of the bar, and then dug her cards out of her feathery purse.

"Ok, here we go." She murmured, sounding relatively sober.

The Card mage placed her other hand over the deck and closed her eyes. After a moment, a magic circle appeared over the cards, and they levitated in-between her open hands. Her eyes snapped open and with a flick of her wrist, the cards flew at lightning speed at the request board.

"There. Have at it." She slurred, and leapt off the stage making a beeline towards the barrel that sat atop her usual table.

Lucy squinted her eyes at the request board and noticed that for each job posting, there were two cards sticking to it.

"Now get in a line, brats, and you'll be handed your request and finding out who your partner is."

The mages of Fairy Tail grumbled at having to wait in line, but filed into place anyway.

Lucy landed a spot towards the middle, behind Lisanna and in front of Levy.

She absentmindedly listened to the girl's chatter, eyes focused on the pairs that had already formed. Laki and Warren. Laxus took a seat next to Cana. Freed made his way over to Mira with rosy cheeks. Evergreen smacking Elfman with her fan. Bickslow….walking in her direction?

Her attention was torn to her best friend as he bounded over to her with an excited grin.

Just as she was about to roll her eyes, he said something that surprised her, yet at the same time it really didn't.

"Lis!" He shouted as he grabbed the Takeover mage by the shoulders.

"Are we partners, Natsu?" She asked in her sweet voice.

"Yep! I'm all fired up!" He exclaimed with a grin.

The pinkette waved at Lucy, before walking off with his childhood friend to look over their mission.

"Huh." She shrugged. Oh well. She could use some time away from the moron anyway.

Someone cleared their throat next to her and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Hey, Cosplayer. Looks like we're partners this time." Bickslow said with a lopsided smile. His babies swirled around her head and she giggled as they chirped 'Partner! Partner!'

"Okay, let's go get a table and look at the mission." She grabbed his elbow and led him to a table near the guild entrance.

Instead of sitting across from her like she expected, he plopped down next to her so close that their thighs touched.

She fought down a blush and focused on the paper sitting in front of them.

PLEASE HELP!

SCREAMS ARE BEING HEARD FROM THE MOUNTAIN AT NIGHT. FOUR TEAMS HAVE BEEN SENT TO INVESTIGATE, ONLY TO NOT RETURN.

FIGURE OUT WHAT IS CAUSING THE SCREAMS AND GET RID OF IT.

100,000 JEWEL.

50,000 JEWEL WILL BE ADDED IF THE TEAMS ARE FOUND AND BROUGHT BACK.

Bickslow let out a low whistle. "That's a lot of Jewel just for some creepy noises."

A small seed of dread planted in her stomach as she reread the request a second and third time.

"Something doesn't seem right about this. Mt. Timor? Barbas Town? I've never even heard of these places." The blonde said, suspicion in her voice.

She looked at the Seith mage, and he shot her a tongued grin. "I have. It's over in the Southern part of Fiore, by Loon. It's a few days by train, so be prepared to get all cozy, eh?"

"Cozy! Cozy!"

Lucy narrowed her eyes at the helmeted mage, unamused. Dread kept gnawing at her gut, but she pushed it down.

' _I'm just being paranoid because I'm not used to going on a job with Natsu, or the rest of the team. That's all there is to it.'_ She reasoned to herself, then nodded at the large man sitting next to her.

Rain pounded against the roof of the guild, the scent of wet hot cobblestone drifting in through the open windows.

His babies perched on the table in front of them, and she could feel the souls within the totems. They almost felt like her Spirits.

Thunder shook the earth, lightning lit up the darkened sky.

At that thought, her keys warmed at her hip, reminding her that she was never alone, and reassurance washed over her like a warm blanket.

"Ok." She said, turning to him. "Pack tonight, and well meet at the station at eight tomorrow morning."

 **So…this story just kind of happened tonight in one sitting. I was eating dinner and I was just like "I feel like writing a scary story." So I am. Or at least I'm attempting to.**

 **There's chapter one of Timor! See you next time! :)**


	2. Questions and Answers

Lucy sat on a bench at the train station the following morning. Her hot pink suitcase rested by her knees, a steaming Styrofoam cup filled with herbal tea in one hand, two train tickets in the other. It was twenty minutes until boarding, and she had arrived at eight on the dot. Bickslow still wasn't there.

She wasn't _too_ worried about it. He may be a big goofball, but he was still a part of the elite Raijinshu. That had to count for something. Right? Right.

The blonde sipped slowly at her tea, absentmindedly people watching and going over their mission in her head. Something still wasn't sitting right with her. There was still this little seed of dread that was firmly planted in the pit of her stomach. She'd had a nightmare the night before. She couldn't remember much now, but she _could_ remember the blatant terror she felt. The blonde didn't think she'd ever forget that feeling. It felt like something was coming. Something big. Something that would change her life forever. But she wasn't so sure it would be in a good way or a bad way.

"Boo!"

Lucy screamed, and acting on instinct she leapt to her feet, roundhouse kicking her attacker in the face.

The man landed flat on his back with an 'oomf'.

"Mavis, Cosplayer." Bickslow groaned. His totems flew quickly in a small circle above his head, reminding her of those old cartoons.

"Oh my goodness, Bickslow. I'm so sorry!" She set down her tea on the bench and crouched down by his head. "Are you ok?"

Bickslow cracked a lopsided grin. "I don't know. I think I might need some mouth-to-mouth just to be sure."

Lucy's face heats up and she scowls. "Never mind. I don't feel sorry anymore."

She stands up and smooths out her black halter tank top and lilac mini skirt, grabbed her tea, and sat back down on the bench.

His totems land on the backrest as he plops down next to her.

"Oh c'mon. Don't be like that, Cosplayer." He coos teasingly.

The blonde pouts and looks away, noting the odd glances being thrown her way, no doubt because of the scene she just caused.

"I have a name, you know." She sniffs indignantly.

The Seith mage chuckled, throwing an arm behind her shoulders on the bench. "I know, but it's not as fun as my nickname for you."

"But it doesn't even make sense! I'm not a cosplayer!" She exclaimed in exasperation, tossing her now empty cup in a nearby trash bin with more force than what was necessary.

Bickslow held up his free hand and counted with his fingers, amused smirk never leaving his face. "Maid. Cheerleader. Bunny.-"

"Hey, I was forced to do that."

"-slutty cat-"

"It was Halloween!"

"-slutty angle-"

"That was another Halloween!"

"-school girl-"

"That was for a job. At a school. I had to blend in!"

"-and lets not even get into the fact that you literally cosplay your Spirits when you use that new magic you now do."

"It's called Star Dress." She grumbled.

He leaned back, a satisfied look on his face.

Lucy sighed dejectedly. He had a point, but it didn't make it any less embarrassing.

"Hey, does it really bother you that much?" He asked, surprise lacing his tone.

She sighed again, giving him a small smile. "No, not really. It doesn't offend me or anything. It's just a bit embarrassing, that's all."

Lucy watched him watch her for a moment, some odd tension rising between them. It wasn't a bad kind of tension. Just unfamiliar. Something she couldn't put a name to.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something, the train whistle blew and all passengers were called to board.

The blonde stood up, grabbing the extended handle to drag it behind her, and nodded at him to follow.

They walked silently to the train, handed the attendant their tickets, and made their way to the private cabin she'd reserved. There was no way she was sitting on a train for as long as they would be without privacy, silence, and relative comfort.

Throwing her suitcase in the overhead baggage compartment, she reached into her large shoulder bag, (Her traveling purse. The thing could hold tons of stuff, and came in handy on more than one occasion.) pulled out the novel she was reading, and took a seat by the window on one side of the compartment.

"Aw, man." Bickslow whined with a pout, his totems copying the phrase as they settled on the bench seat next to her, and plopped down on the seat across from her.

She raised a blonde brow at his childish antics. "What?"

He looked at her, or else she assumed he did, considering that she couldn't see the top half of his face behind his helmet. "I didn't bring anything to do, and you're just going to read. The train hasn't even started moving yet and I'm so fucking bored." He complained, gesturing around the empty compartment with wild hand motions.

Lucy closed her book, feeling a tad guilty about how she was about to immerse herself into its words and essentially ignore her new partner.

"I'm sorry. I won't read for a while. Why don't we try to get to know each other? It's a three day train ride. We have to work together for the first time, it would probably be beneficial to figure out how each other works." She said with a small apologetic smile.

He seemed surprised for a moment, but then a wide tongued grin spread his lips. "Why don't we play the questions game?"

The train lurched forward and left the station, picking up speed as it chugged along. Soon enough, the scenery outside the window was passing by in a blur.

"What's that?" She asked curiously.

He leaned back in his seat a bit more and crossed one of his legs over the other so that his ankle rested on top of his knee. "It's super easy. We just take turns asking each other questions. And you have to answer, no matter the question unless you pass. You'd usually only get two passes, but since this is such a long ride I say we can have five. If someone passes, the questioner can ask to ask a new question, but the person being asked gets to choose if they want to answer it or not."

Lucy thought it over for a moment before nodding with a bright smile. She was actually kind of excited to get to know the man. They never really talked before, besides the occasional greeting whenever they crossed paths at the guild. She knew he was a fun-loving, carefree, goofy guy from what she's seen. And she knows he must be very loyal to be a part of the Raijinshu, since that seemed to be one of the main requirements. But overall she was eager to make a new friend.

She craved friendship. Close bonds with people. After an isolated upbringing with maids that where paid to be there, and an absent unless there was something to gain father, she craved real relationships. People who actual cared about her because they wanted to, not because they were paid to. Not to say that there weren't maids or servants that really did come to care for her, because there were. But there had always been the knowledge that wriggled in the back of her mind, that if the money stopped flowing, they'd leave.

"-player. Lucy?" Snapping fingers in her face brought her mind back to the present and pink dusted her cheeks in embarrassment.

"Huh?"

Bickslow was leaning forward in his seat, a small frown marring his lips. "I asked the first question and you were completely zoning out. You ok?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm so sorry. My thoughts just kind of ran away for a moment, but I'm alright." She shifted in her seat, folding her legs underneath her and clasping her hands in her lap, giving him her full attention. "What was the question?"

He looked at her for another moment before his frown turned back into his usual amused grin, and he leaned back into his previous sitting position. "I asked what your favorite season was."

She thought for a moment. "Fall. The leaves turn into all these beautiful colors. The days are mostly the perfect temperature, not too hot but not too cold. It's perfect."

He nodded. "Your turn."

Lucy brought her finger to her lips and hummed in thought, looking up at the ceiling of the compartment as she thought of a good question to start with. She didn't want it to be something lame like, "what's your favorite color?" She wanted to ask something different.

"What's your middle and last name?" She eventually asked.

He seemed a bit surprised by the question, but rolled with it. "Don't have a middle name. And-" he leaned closer like he was about to tell a huge secret, and she leaned in as well. "- don't tell anyone this, 'cause I don't want the attention I'll get from it. But, believe it or not, my last name is actually Dreyar."

Lacy gasped, eyes wide and curious. Laxus and Bickslow surely didn't look like brothers. Or related at all. Well, they were both fairly tall, but that was really the only similarity.

"Calm down, we're not related. Makarov legitimately adopted me." He said so nonchalantly, like what he was saying was common knowledge.

"Why?" She asked, unable to stop herself.

He grinned at her. "You already asked your question, Cosplayer." Her shoulders drooped a bit in disappointment, but she didn't push it. If he didn't want to explain anything, he didn't have to. It really wasn't any of her business.

Bickslow waved off her unspoken thoughts as though he'd heard them and shrugged. "But I'll tell you anyway. You seem trustworthy, and it's not really anything that would upset me to talk about. Basically, I was dropped off at an orphanage when I was a baby, with nothing but a card that said my name. It was a good orphanage. The people who ran the place were very kind and took care of all us kids the best they could. It was a good childhood. Well one day when I was about thirteen, Beth, the lady who owned the place, posted a job to Fairy Tail. It wasn't too difficult of a job. Just to run off a group of non-mage men who thought they could get us, and other businesses in town to cough up money. They threatened to ruin their buildings and their businesses if they'd refuse. Imagine our surprise when they send a kid my age. He took care of it no problem, and we became good buddies in the few days he was there.

"I told him I was a mage and how I thought it would be so cool to join a guild like Fairy Tail. I wanted to go with him when he asked, but I couldn't. Beth had a policy in place to keep her kids there where they were safe and cared for until they were either seventeen and able to provide for themselves, or adopted. Laxus left, but came back a few weeks later with Gramps and the old man signed the papers. Been here ever since."

A bright smile lit up her face as she listened to him tell his story. Their master was such a kind man. She felt so lucky to be a part of this guild.

"My turn." He said, just as Lucy opened her mouth to speak. She narrowed her eyes at him, but nodded anyway.

"So, you heard about my childhood. What was yours like? All I really know is that you used to be an heiress."

Lucy's eyes widened and her heart stuttered in her chest at the unexpected question. "P-pass."

Bickslow nodded slowly. "Ok, can I ask something different then?"

"Sure."

"What's your favorite food?"

The blonde sighed in relief, thankful that she didn't have to open that can of worms. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. He was nakama. It just took a bit of time for her to be able to open up about the deeper stuff.

"Anything pasta." She answered with a small smile of thanks.

"Pasta is pretty damn good. Your turn."

It was then that Lucy realized how quiet it was in the compartment. She glanced over at the totems sitting next to her unmoving. "Why are your totems so quiet? They normally follow you around, or at least mimic what you say."

Bickslow just grinned and uncrossed his legs. "That's if I'm feeding them my magic. It's easy enough to keep them active throughout the day, but if I'm just sitting around or if I'm at home I cut the flow of magic and give everyone a rest."

Lucy nodded in understanding and yawned. "Makes sense. Hey, would you mind terribly if I tried to take a nap?"

He shook his head, giving her a tongued grin as his totems lifted and settled next to him before once again becoming unmoving. "Not a problem. I'll wake you up when the food cart starts serving lunch, if you're not up already."

She smiled at him before grabbing one of the pillows on the overhead shelf and making herself comfortable on the bench seat.

}{}{}{

Thirteen hours later, the duo got off of the train to find a hotel for the night before starting all over again in the morning.

The sky was dark, the stars were out, and Bickslow was so fucking happy to be walking around and off of that train. He hated sitting for such long periods of time. It didn't help that he had also been completely bored out of his mind the majority of the time.

He couldn't fault Lucy for it, though. They played several games, and he was glad one of the train's employees had supplied him with a deck of cards. Then they switched to rock paper scissors. Then thumb wrestling. Which he completely demolished her at, seeing as his thumbs were just so much bigger than hers. That was until she had gotten so fed up with losing that she had changed into one of her magic costume things, the cow one, and smashed his thumb down so hard it was now swollen and bruised. Of course she felt bad immediately after, fluttering around the injury and apologizing profusely.

If he was truthful, he had milked it just a bit. He kind of liked having her dote on him.

They ate lunch and dinner on the train, resolving to just find a place to pass out immediately after getting off the train.

He sighed.

' _Just tell her how you feel.'_ Papa said through their connection.

Papa was his first soul, and their bond was so strong that they could speak telepathically. He was sure that over time he'd be able to speak to the other four this way, but for now he could just pick up the small fluctuations of their emotions. It went both ways, and they were able to sense his emotions as well.

' _You know I can't do that. We barely know each other.'_ He replied a bit dejectedly.

See, the truth was, he was completely infatuated with the blonde bombshell of Fairy Tail. He had been for years now.

It started when they fought against each other on top of that toy store. After she'd called out her lion Spirit and he got his ass whooped. At first, in the following days, he'd just think of her occasionally. He'd see her in the guild, sitting and laughing with her friends, and he'd just think of how pretty she was when she laughed. Or how her smile could light up a room. Or how strong and brave she was to willingly put up with such a crazy team on a daily basis.

That led to him studying her more often to determine why she had this sort of effect on him. But the more he studied her, the more he learned about her, and the harder he fell.

They reached a motel, purchased two rooms, and went their separate ways. He bid her a goodnight and entered the room adjacent to hers, locked the door, and flopped into his bed for the night.

Yes, he was head over heels for her. But she never really noticed him. She was always kind and greeted him warmly when they'd cross paths. But she never looked his way, and he would know, because he was looking her way more often than not.

The perks of wearing a helmet that covered his eyes.

Bickslow sighed. She never noticed him, so he'd go out and party with Laxus and find someone to bang out all of his frustrations with. He'd always regret it in the morning when he woke up, but that never stopped him from doing it again. And again.

The Seith mage sat up and began the meticulous task of undressing, until he was in nothing but his boxers.

He wished his babies a goodnight before cutting off the magic and slipping under the cotton sheets.

A part of him was hopeful that this mission would bring them closer. That maybe they could become better friends, if anything more. He'd be content, as long as he could be with her more than he had been in the past.

But he wasn't sure what to think of this mission. Something was definitely up. There had been a small pit of dread that had taken up residence in his gut since the moment he read the request.

Mt. Timor sounded so familiar to him, and no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't place it. But he had this feeling that something was going to go very, very wrong.

And he'd be damned if he let Lucy Heartfilia get hurt on this quest, that was for sure.

In that moment, as his eyes started drooping, he really hoped he didn't jinx anything. Too tired to make himself get up and go knock on wood, his eyelids became too heavy to keep open and he slipped into a restless slumber.

 **There's chapter two! Only one more chapter to go until they reach the mountain. (chapter four)**

 **Does anyone have any guesses on what is going on with it? With what's causing all of those screams?**

 **I'm really interested to see what you guys think they will find when they get there!**

 **Thanks for all the favs/follows/and reviews! You all are the best, and thanks so much for your support!**


	3. I'm back!

**I don't even know what to say other than I'm so unbelievably sorry for how long I've been absent.**

 **I promise I'm still here! And there is no way in hell I am giving up on my stories.**

 **So much has happened since I moved back to my home town. And I know most of you don't really need to know what's been going on, but I'm pretty open with my struggles as of late, and maybe it will make some of you feel less alone in your own struggles.**

 **If some of you may remember, I have mentioned in the past about depression kicking my ass. I always knew I had depression, but I never realized how bad it really was.**

 **Soon after we moved back I went on antidepressants I thought they were working but I wasn't sure because I had never been on them before. Now, during this time and 2 out of the 3 years I lived in Virginia (when I first started writing fanfiction) I was struggling terribly with self harm.**

 **That should have been my first sign that my antidepressants were in fact not working. Actually, I got worse. The moment I started getting suicidal thoughts I stopped taking them altogether. I made a promise with myself that if I kept self harming that I would go and seek mental help. I couldn't be the mother my boys needed me to be if I was constantly hurting myself (they never witnessed me doing it or the aftermath. I always kept my marks covered because I could never let my babies see that)**

 **But I kept doing it. I would be able to resist the urge for weeks, but when I broke…it was bad.**

 **So I checked myself in to a mental health clinic. I was there for a week. And I am SO glad that I did. You guys..it helped me so much. I was shown coping mechanisms and I was understood without anyone looking at me in pity, or that I was a total nut job. I was finally officially diagnosed, as well as being put on medications specific to my exact diagnosis.**

 **Severe depression disorder, severe anxiety, and PTSD.**

 **This was back in January, and I have only self harmed once since then.**

 **Then it was just adjusting to it all. Fine tuning my dosages and going to therapy once a week.**

 **I am finally getting back to myself now, I started making jewelry and being creative again. I am finally feeling happiness and I never realized that I had rarely felt that way all my life.**

 **So I've been binge reading and trying to catch up on everything I have missed.**

 **And today I had the first true urge to write in almost a year! So I decided to write an absurdly long note to you all, explaining way more than I needed to.**

 **If you read to this point, thank you! And I will be slowly getting back into writing things! I'll hopefully be updating my stories soon, but I may or may not try writing a simple story before jumping right back into my other more complicated stories. Kinda like testing the waters, ya know?**

 **Anyway I'll stop my rambling now.**

 **Oh wait one last thing! I have seen every review that has been posted in my absence and I want to thank every one of you who read my stories, even when they hadn't been updated in such a long time.**

 **Ok, now I'm really done.**

 **Love, Lovely.**


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